Do you ever just look at someone and wonder how a singular person can have their life just so..together? And you then look at yourself and think ‘oh my, I am not rocking this life gig?’
I want to tell you something. You are rocking this life gig, even if you’re having a challenging day, week or heck, even year. And that person who seems to have their sh*t together. Trust me, there are days when they do not.
I have people ask me all the time ‘how do you do it all?’. And I will share my secret. I absolutely do not, even close, do it all. When my strata life is busy and full (which is pretty much always), my house is a mess. I forget to pay parking tickets. I run out of toilet paper and I put my undies on backwards. I spray make-up brush cleaner on my face instead of setting spray. In fact, right now there is a rat living in my ceiling. Every night when we are in bed it eats the cat food. I hear it scurrying around above my head. And I shrug and go back to reading about cladding or completing an essay. Because no-one can do everything. I’ll deal with it. Eventually. Hopefully, before it chews through a power cord or gets in a fight with the three-legged cat.
But I am not always this kind to myself or as mindful of giving myself a break. In the moments of self-doubt, I believe myself to be a talentless hack who is a terrible mother, who is going to be found out as being a total strata-fake, and finally end up the laughing stock of the whole entire world. Maybe even the universe. Yep, my brain goes there.
And I know yours does too. Well maybe not as dramatically as mine. But we all self-doubt. Those fraud police live in all of us. You are not alone in those thoughts, which means you don’t have to fight them on your own either.
My tips for moving those fraud police out;
- Give yourself the same advice & encouragement you would give your best friend and believe it;
- Stop, look around, and high five yourself for all the awesome you are doing;
- Download a mindfulness app – (I love ‘Calm’ but there are many out there), actually use it;
- Don’t give air-time to negative people or soul-destroying tasks; it is ok to say no;
- Out-source. Value your time and pay others to do things for you where you can. A cleaner, a virtual assistant, a dog walker. You’ll get back in time so much more than you pay out in dollars;
- Spend time with people who love you. And let them tell you why they do.
PS – the photo on this blog is evidence – sometimes (often) my hair is a crazy mess, my kid is taking strange selfies with my phone and I don’t know if I am sitting in the right seats at the footy. But my friends still think I am awesome.