‘Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own’.
These words were shared by Mae Carol Jemison, who is an engineer, physician and the first African American woman to travel to space. I highly recommend her book ‘Find Where the Wind Goes: moments from my life’.
Usually, being told that I cannot do something will provide the very motivation I need to accomplish it. This is a personality trait we see in children a great deal. Although it has benefits in certain circumstances for adults. Being told something isn’t possible has been the motivating factor for many a great invention. But. BUT. When a doubt is cast in just the right soft spot, it can reverberate and change self-perception and self-belief.
Having someone else cast doubt on our ability can be enough to prevent us from ever trying certain things. Those doubts can plant a seed that results in self-imposed limitations, an innate and soul-deep belief that there are certain things you simply cannot do. The soft spots are those things we are already not sure about. Those things we already question about ourselves. And wham! A passing comment, or a deliberate dig and all of a sudden you become quite convinced you simply CAN NOT do the thing.
The limit, I don’t believe can actually be imposed by someone else. Another person does not get to decide what you are capable of. They can offer an opinion. But the decision that you cannot, that limit, it’s self-imposed. It happens because our confidence cannot be high in every aspect of our existence, and so an opinion from another person works to ratify your own self-doubt and limits are set.
This can be even more difficult in a person who suffers from anxiety. The self-doubt can manifest into fear. Becoming, at its worst, debilitating. However, we can work through these limitations, push past them and remove them altogether.
Goal setting is a great way to remove the emotion and doubt from a situation. By breaking into small pieces and setting yourself up with pre-agreed resources and support, the limitation becomes a challenge. And If, like me, S.M.A.R.T goal setting just isn’t your thing, let me tell you about H.A.R.D goals.
H – Heartfelt – the goal, the limit you are breaking, you need to WANT to be doing it.
A – Animated – the goal needs to be vivid and alive in your mind. Something you can see and want.
R – Required – the goal becomes necessary, not an option.
D – Difficult – there is no achievement in doing the easy thing. But no point in setting something impossible either. You find the sweet spot here.
Participants in the Women in Strata Mentoring Program will be provided resources on HARD goal setting and achievements. As well as two different S.M.A.R.T goal plans AND personal development planning assistance, all within the initial program guide. Monthly supporting resources will hit inboxes, providing additional information, helpful tips and talking points for our participants.
If you have not yet registered to be part of the program, there is still time, with registrations closing on Monday 17 December. Click here.
Oh, and in case you were curious. My recent limitation breaking achievement? Learning how to make gorgeous flower crowns, out of both fresh and artificial flowers, after believing all my life that I have zero skills for arts and crafts. Now I am seriously considering a side gig. You know, with all my spare time…