Guest blogger, Natalie Fitzgerald, asks an important question…
Why is it, that whenever women form a group to support, encourage and promote each other, criticism and backlash are so quick to follow? Justifications are demanded. Irrelevance is suggested. Disassociation can be quick and brutal.
To quote my seven-year-old daughter – ‘why?’
Since the beginning of the evolved human, groups of like-minded people have gathered to share resources and ideas. The sharing of resources and the offering of support so often leads to innovation and success, not only for individuals but often the collective. A problem shared is a problem halved. Many hands make light work. The clichés are many. Group work remains a form of assessment at University and Kindergarten alike. It makes sense. The notion of shared thoughts resulting in greater results than that of a single mind.
So what are we afraid of? Why is it when women seek to support and share, the very idea is met with skepticism at best, and outright insults at worse? Is it because these groups challenge the traditional notion of a woman’s place in society? Surely not! After all, it is 2016.
Admittedly, not all women’s groups face criticism. No-one fears the mothers group. The Country Women’s Association with their cookbooks and handy hints for removing stains are no more a concern than a Teddy Bears Picnic. Group mani/pedi sessions accompanied by sparkling wine and gossip is encouraged. But a group of intelligent, driven and capable women, formally grouping to support one another with a view of betterment for the individuals and a sector alike – oh my!
Is there an un-conscious bias among us to maintain the status quo, where women can achieve great success, but in contained, neat numbers? Is there a concern women will demand too much should they gain the confidence to insist on equal pay? Maybe, biologically we are simply afraid women will stop having babies if they are encouraging each other to seek out career success? Or is the concern children will grow up feeling alone and uncared for because their mothers were CEO’s? I don’t have the answer. I do value the conversation. Especially from the critics. I’d love to know. Why. Why doesn’t everyone support the notion of women supporting each other to achieve the best they can?
We’re fortunate to work in sector full of not only talented and intelligent women, but women who are strong enough to stand up, together, for each other. This is something everyone working in strata should be proud of. And yet so many aren’t.
Why?
Natalie Fitzgerald is a managing partner at Strata Sense and a member of the Women in Strata steering committee.
Natalie, I agree with your sentiments and sometimes it seems that some men develop an immediate defense mechanism when they see or hear of a ‘women’s group’. As you rightly said, like-minded persons have communed for the support, networking and strength that is achievable through a group.
However, I am confused by your comment that “the very idea [of a women’s group] is met with skepticism at best, and outright insults at worse?” Are you referring to women being skeptical of these groups? Surely not. If it weren’t for the suffragettes, women would not be able to even form these supportive groups.
But, I will contradict myself by saying that sometimes I have found it easier, more fun and with less competition or ‘bitching’ when working with men than women. That is if the woman is NOT a senior manager. If the latter, then men can be very threatened and the competition and undermining takes place with avengeance!!
So, it is not always the existence of women’s groups that threatens the world for the working woman. Individuals with personal insecurity, jealousy and narcissistic characteristics are always going to be difficult to work with. It is up to us to be able to identify those types and to know how to deal with them – or avoid them coming into our circles of influence.
I couldn’t agree more – an awesome article, hope it makes some who have taken issue before we have even launched think and ask themselves some of those things you dared to put in black and white!
We want to help the whole by supporting women to do more – we are not looking to take from anyone to do this.